Keinwitz

Thursday, August 07, 2003:

Snoologic in an Indeterminant Method
I believe that I am indeterminist for although I recognize and identify with determinist theory, I realize that nothing in my life is truly determined. I accept and agree that a determinist environment did shape me and mold me to become the individual that I am today. I understand through biological determinism, that I did not choose my gender, my genetics, or even my humanity. I was not capable of choosing my family, nor could I choose the society that formed me. I realize that my childhood which was spent moving around many parts of the world and country would subsequently lead me to recognize the differences between peoples. This nomadic lifestyle although not of my choosing was a huge force in the individual that I am today. These are the deterministic factors which shaped me, but I have also learned to recognize that if I truly understand myself then I might recognize such unconscious motivations that might arise from determined influences. If I can recognize these motivations through careful analysis of my being and nature, then I might decide to make freely the decision of going with the motivation or against it. My life is not determined, I make decisions based from prior decisions, my life is a development which can never be known nor predicted. I cannot know the future, the very nature of life is the fact that it changes, it is not concrete enough to make a prediction. There are too many variables known and unknown to even begin rationalization. I do not believe that just because I was born in such a family and such a society as I live in today, that I should continue to follow its rules blindly. I realize that I can choose to be what I will, and find meaning in what I will, but accept that there is never going to be an absolute answer to anything. A determinist environment formed me, but once realization of this process occurs it should be possible to come closer to know one’s self, thus making conscious rational decisions free from prediction but only knowing that I cannot know the future.

Snoo // 20:00
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Friday, July 18, 2003:

Mad Friday
Just want to know if mr cashwrap nazi ever thinks before he opens his mouth. The things which come up are superficial, mean, and hypocritical. Some examples, as he deals with customers in his customarily rude way, "Have you heard about our frappachino festival? We have ten new flavors, that is why it is a festival." I wanted to laugh when I heard that one roll off his tongue. Another quote as he frets away at a man that wanted change for a ten dollar bill, "Oh no, we cannot change a ten, you can go to a bank across the street, they do that all the time." Well duh, I did not know that banks changed money out all the time! Today was simply horrid as I stood the entire day under his watchful eye at the registers. I never did anything quite right. Somehow when I call customers I am supposed to blather out our telephone number, out of context, highly annoying when the information has been relayed. And somehow the concept of a cashier making calls on the telephone does not feel appropriate especially when viewed from the opposite side of the couner! *sigh* Did I mention I hate the register?

Snoo // 19:52
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Thursday, July 10, 2003:

Rainy Days Again and Again and Again
Pittsburgh seems mired in an endless season of rain this week...pretty amazing too since we just came out of a 2 month rainy season last week. I experienced the storms first hand this afternoon as I waited nearly an hour for my bus in the rain, without an umbrella. It was a joy to see the lightening and feel a heady rush as the thunder claps resonated right over my naked sopping head. Then I began to think introspectively, and thought about how shitty it was to no longer own a car. In the midst of the downpour I see countless compact cars and suvs cruise past me, the occupants snuggly warm and dry. It was a downpour when finally my bus did arrive. I boarded the bus, dripping, freezing, and looked at the occupants reactions as water dripped off my nose, fell from my hair, and lingered at my finger tips. I was on the bus 5 minutes when I asked the driver if the bus was headed to my neighborhood, I was informed that I entered on the wrong way...the bus was coming back from its run. Thus I had to sit an hour on the bus, freezing...huddled with a sweater over my soaked tshirt,and goosebumps peeking out of my skirt. Needless to say I am ok now, I made it home, took a Hot shower, and drank some chai. My heart feels full, my anxiety over being carless has left me, and all seems right with the world. At least until I have to wait out a bus in the downpour again....

Snoo // 22:45
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Monday, July 07, 2003:

CashWrap Nazi Strikes Again
I work at Barnes and Nobles, I sell books and most of the time get insulted by snotty customers. I don't think there is a day when I am working that a random customer insults my intelligence. I cannot quite understand this, since I am not too certain about their own mental powers. Of course it is my job at BandN to smile and take the insults, and when noone is looking I make ugy faces at the customers. Now as horrible as these patrons are, there is a worse problem, and he lurks behind the lines of defense. This man is Dan the CashWrap Nazi. Now when I began working at the b&n, I found this title of his humourous as it was whispered conspiratorially. I did not know that CashWrap Nazi was the actual embodiment of his character. I have had many tastes of his wrath, and the day I worked eight hours of cashwrap (the cash register) made me want to destroy him. He is a cocky, fat man that lives to scorn you with his tongue. He is impatient, is very rude to customers, I do not know how he gets away with this. He is also the lead for cashwrap which serves to fill his huge ego the more. An example of his doings, this past saturday as I was leaving the store, I stopped by the registers. I asked a coworker for a large plastic bag as the one I had with me was ripping. Well Dan the man was there, he of course over heard my request and demanded to know why I wanted a bag. He then said that we are not allowed to give out bags unless you buy something. Holy shit, wtf, I handle these bags all day long and this ass is trying to tell me I cannot have a bag. The list goes on my friend, but I deign not to waste any more time on it this day. I will certainly have more to add when I have the pleasure of working with him again, this tuesday. So ciao my prettys.

Snoo // 12:47
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Sunday, June 29, 2003:

Rehash
Well I know why I cannot have bookmarks at work, and why I have extremly restricted computer access. The simple reason is my manager is a twofaced fat bitch, recently she decided that she disliked me. She has then proceeded to make the motions to fire me, to the point of listing an ad in the newspaper for the position that I currently had. I knew something was up for the very day I found the ad I also intercepted a call from the newspaper agency asking for Susan. As my name is also Susan, and I have also been called at the office by the newspaper, I innocently took the call. I was certainly surprised when they asked me if the ad I had posted about "Office Help" on June 15 and 18 had received any responses. I was doubly surprised when searching the newspaper website I did find an ad for office help......same office, but using the another office's phone number so that I would be unaware of these replies to same said ad. I confronted my boss about this the next day, I merely wanted to know what I did to merit firing. I had certainly received no indication that I was to lose my job. She was quiet, then she said "Mistakes were made." Now that is funny, what mistakes, there was only one mistake that she could reference was was a credit card error. Now that is funny because just 2 weeks ago she made the mistake of leaving 3 doors opened thus leading to the alarms going off and the police arriving at the property. Somehow my small credit card error was more important than her minor laspe in responsibilty. So I told her that you cannot fire people for making mistakes, and then informed her that I was leaving at 1400. There is no way I was going to make their training of a new employee to replace me easy. I can also see why they would do this to me as they have a history of firing people. I was hired to replace someone in much the same way that they tried to do to me. The only difference was the phone call I was lucky enough to intercept and act upon. Thank You!
~Suz

Snoo // 15:23
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Sunday, June 15, 2003:

Links for dem Tarot Joinks
So since I am unable to make bookmarks at work,(my coworker keeps erasing them) I will post my links here....I actually found informative websites on the web...can you believe it?
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/2110/

http://www.learntarot.com/course.htm

Snoo // 15:07
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SnooDawg In da House
Hey yo homies, Snoo dawg is back in the house and the request line is open! Sure whatever that means...just a quick update. I am in Pittsburgh PA at the moment, I have been here since Feb 17. It was not an easy trip for sure, and I am certain to bore you with the details at a later moment. Trivialties for the day, I bought my first tarot deck on friday...yes the 13th...no I did not buy it because it was friday the 13th. It is the Aleister Crowley "Thoth" deck, a kind of egyption, kabala kind of thing (hmm spelled that wrong...I will fix it, I promise!). This deck is very beautiful, and I already know that I am very satisfied with it. I saw Xmen@ last night, for the first time...that movie kicked ass! I could say a lot less about other sequels....ie Matrix 2 which was perhaps one of the worst sequels ever. Speaking of sequels....Harry Potter's new book comes out this friday, and it is certain to make my weekend hell, as I have to work 1-7 at the office, and then go in at 8-130 am at Barnes and Nobles. The horror does not end there, I have to wake up at 8am and work from 8-5 at the office on saturday, and right after that work from 6-1130 at Barnes and Nobles. What kind of crap is that? I wanted some hours, but I do not intend to work to death either. I just know selling those crappy ass potter books is going to suck. Thanks Mrs Rowling for pulling another piece of shit out of your ass.
~Peace

Snoo // 15:01
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Monday, February 03, 2003:

Virgin Boy Strikes Again
I do not know if I have already mentioned the antics of virgin boy previously. Just in case, here are the details. Virgin boy is a character to say the least, he is 27 years old, on paxil and cannot seem to find a girlfriend. Well perhaps he could find a girlfriend if his standards were not so high, the ultimate qualification is the girl must be a virgin too. He has this antiquated belief that there is someone just waiting to fling their virginity at him. Well since meeting me, he has lowered his standards a bit. Should I feel grateful? NO. This idiot says to me one night, "well gee Susan, what if I go have sex with a virgin, then come back and date you?" I looked at him aghast and said "That is stupid...why would you do that to someone?" Apparently he has a fetish for virgins, hmm that just digusts me. Well apparently at some point he decided that we were dating. He calls incessantly, even when I am a complete bitch to him. He never seems to get the hint. Well this past friday, he decided to stop by. Of course I was outside sunbathing, luckily in my bikini. I felt his glee, he was certainly happy to have caught me catching rays. I was appalled of course, recalling vividly in my mind the many times he has asked me to get naked for him in his "parent's" hot-tub. The worst part of that day was he kissed the back of my neck! When did we start getting personal like that?? ANd keep your chickenhands off me! (he farms chickens...too) I eventually pissed him off enough that he decided to leave quietly. I don't mean to bash him too badly, he did have some good points...but all those good points could not shine through after I caught up with the many many disgusting points.

Snoo // 12:29
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